The office might be strewn with empty bags of novelty Halloween sweets and fake cobwebs, but do you know what’s really scary? These coffee facts. Grab a beastly brew, switch on your spookiest Monster Mash-filled playlist, and check them out…
1. Most coffee you drink is genuinely burnt
Know those pictures of glistening, almost black coffee beans you see splashed on the back walls of cafés? Yeah, those are pretty much burnt. The world has (unfortunately) been trained to recognise the taste of over-roasted beans as ‘coffee flavour’ - but that’s sort of like thinking burnt toast is what bread’s meant to taste like.
2. Climate change might make it hard to get hold of coffee
Rising temperatures, unpredictable weather events, and the resulting increase in disease and pests are affecting coffee production. Not to mention the fact that less and less farmers are willing to stay on in the industry. That means less (and worse!) coffee to go around, making coffee set to become a luxury item you can’t just enjoy every day. Scary.
3. Cat poo coffee is a thing (and to some, a delicacy?!)
Ok, there aren’t actually any cats involved. But it does involve civets (like a cat/racoon/fox hybrid) eating and then defecting coffee cherries - which are then used to make coffee. Gross, huh? And an often cruel practice - but that doesn’t stop it being one of the most expensive, sought-after brews around.
4. Coffee has less caffeine than tea!
This one is actually less scary than it sounds. Technically tea leaves are 3.5% caffeine, to coffee’s 1.1-2.2%. But in reality, the brewing process of coffee - hotter water and a longer extraction time - means it packs more of a punch per cup than your average Earl Grey.
5. Most farmers lose money with every sack of coffee they sell
The commodity market isn’t a great place for farmers to sell their coffee. But often it’s their only choice. With prices skirting around the $1 mark, and the average cost of production at roughly $1.50, farmers are essentially paying to sell their coffee. And that’s a scary reality to find yourself in.
6. People have tried to ban coffee. A lot.
It’s true - all over the world, people have tried to make flat whites illegal. We’re talking Sweden in 1746, Prussia in 1777, Constantinople back in 1623, and even Italy in the 16th Century… until the Pope had a cheeky taste and declared it was officially god-ordained and delicious!
7. If you drink the cheap stuff, it’s probably full of bug bites and other nasties
Just to hark back to our previous point about burnt beans, but there’s a reason people do it - because it hides a multitude of sins. Including how low quality most coffee actually is. Low grade beans are full of defects - from deformed and discoloured beans, to one’s jam-packed full of insect bits. Gross!
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